Scone & The Butterbeans weren’t so much a band as they were an uncontrolled musical incident. Formed during a prison riot turned talent show, the group built their sound on three broken amps, a church organ they stole from a wedding, and a rhythm section powered entirely by bad decisions. Their debut EP, “We Ain’t Done Cookin’”, was banned in four states and declared a safety hazard in two more. Fans described their sound as “sweaty gospel-funk, if the preacher had a knife.”

Frontwoman Scone — real name unknown, legally classified as a “roaming hazard” — was infamous for her stage presence: barefoot, drenched in hot sauce, and often mid-lawsuit. The Butterbeans? Five brothers, all named Carl, none of whom could legally enter Canada. Their final gig ended when the stage collapsed under the weight of their collective groove and a semi truck full of unpaid bar tabs. No one knows where they are now, but if you feel the ground shake and smell bourbon in the breeze… they’re probably tuning up.