Jimmy Money wasn’t born — he was bartered for in a back-alley pawn shop somewhere near Barstow. Guitar in one hand, court summons in the other, Jimmy roared onto the scene with a voice soaked in diesel and regret. His music defied genre and logic, described by critics as “like if a haunted jukebox learned to lie.” He toured exclusively in stolen vehicles, refused to perform indoors, and was once arrested for busking inside a burning building.

As for how he died? That’s... complicated. Some say he spontaneously combusted during the bridge of “The Cigarette Still Burns” Others swear he faked his death and now writes jingles for pest control firms. One fan insists he was last seen wrestling a jukebox in a diner parking lot, both vanishing in a flash of lightning and funk. The official cause? "Exposure to raw groove at lethal volume." Whatever happened, Jimmy Money died like he lived — halfway through a solo, with two warrants and no brakes.