McGruder’s Chainsaw Pilates is the only fitness program legally classified as "cardio and a controlled demolition." Founded by former lumberjack and current fugitive Lars McGruder, this revolutionary workout blends traditional core-strengthening techniques with the raw power of revved-up chainsaws. Participants sculpt abs, shred calories, and occasionally furniture — all to the soothing soundtrack of screaming engines and distant sirens. Each class ends with a group stretch and a mandatory insurance waiver. Whether you're dodging flying logs or carving out confidence, McGruder’s is the ultimate full-body experience. Results may vary. Limbs may too.