Jean Claude’s Ready Meals are the only microwave dinners in the Wastes that come with a legal disclaimer, a wax seal, and a faint scent of regret. Hand-prepared (allegedly) by disgraced celebrity chef Jean Claude during his brief house arrest, each meal is flash-frozen at “whatever temperature the van was doing” and sealed in packaging that screams luxury and mild deception. Flavours include classics like Beef à la Probably and Something Alfredo, with a rotating “Mystery Protein Du Jour” that’s as thrilling as it is untraceable. Fast, flavourful, and frequently confiscated — Jean Claude’s is the taste of scandal, now available in a box.